. The Bitch In Me .

sometimes, some things are difficult to be dealt with.

I am dissapointed, yes, you can tell.




it's d's say .xoxo.

. Karma Itu Hukum Tuhan .

kalaulah cinta itu sesuatu yang pasti,

pasti kau masih menyayangi.

kalaulah kasihmu tak pudar,

pasti kau sedar.

kalaulah kata-kata mu benar dan tidak berdusta,

pasti akulah yang paling bahagia.

kalaulah kau tahu deritanya bukan sedikit,

pasti kau tak akan buatku sakit.

kan?

terima kasih wahai si jantung hati,

hati ini ternyata masih sakit.

kau ternyata sama.

sekarang, tolong pergi.

Now I dont even know why emotions feel very unstable at times and I really can feel very down sometime. as in very very down. thinking about how Love really reach us and torn us apart obviously still makes me sick sometime. *sigh* I'm not only talking about my previous bad experiences, its the world wide situations, from my point of view. p.s ; not any particular individual, mind you. its just random.

I know, probably you will say its always the same thing but I mean, just let me be, okay? I grow up, knowing that Love won't hurt us in any way. I mean, Love Conquers All, isnt it? well. that was then. but now, after years of suffering, observing and experiencing, I know, Love is just a word. yes. I'm sorry. I'm real sceptic.

Happiness is so overrated and I wonder why people were so cruel. they don't even count in anybody's feeling? I mean, I hate you, forever, Mr. X! yes I do! screw all goodness, I seriously am not forgiving you. yes! so?

ahh. this long night is pretty emotional for me. and God forgive me! maybe tomorrow I'll wake up with a brand new feeling and when I have a good mood, maybe I'll ask for ur forgiveness. Maybe! I hope, at least! as for now, I just want to screw all that and pour my thoughts in here. and nothing makes it good over here in this rotten college room. and people! yes to be exact, I still haven't finish my Consti ASSignment! ohh what would I do?!

hmm I hate it. I hate you. I hate this feeling. I hate the situation. but this is Fate.
so, shall I blame Fate, then? *tears* ohh


- "I held the pieces of my soul, I was shattered and I wanted you to come and make me whole." - Vertical Horizon.

- "What if it's lost behind words we could never find?" - Daughtry.

" If there's no breaking, then there's no healing,

if there's no healing then there's no learning.

and if there's no learning then, there's no struggle.

but the struggle is a part of life.

So, must all HEARTS be BROKEN?"

-One Tree Hill-

p.s ; I think ur wise enough to think and to judge. and yes, I have learnt my lesson the hard way that I shouldn't have fallen in Love so deep, with you.


Terima Kasih.
Tuhan, tolonglah, sembuhkan aku.



Sekian,
Adeline Zainuddin,
yang selalu percaya Karma itu hukum Tuhan.

030110, 0308, Universiti Malaya.





it's d's say .xoxo.

. Happy Birthday, Mama .

Dear Puan Rasiah Yaacob,

HAPPY 47th BIRTHDAY

to you!

Mama, being ur daughter for almost 21 years of my life,

there's only one word to describe the feeling; GREATFUL.

being my mom, u have taught me everything that no one is able to teach me.

and being my mom, u have given me Life that I am proud of.

regardless of what life has thrown us into, u were always patient and that is ur greatest talent.

being ur eldest daughter, I have always know how strong u are no matter what is ahead of u.

and I know, that trait is what I inherit from u.

thank you, mama :)

and today is ur birthday. 030110.

May ur blessed through the year

and I wish u more Happiness than ever.

may all of ur wishes be granted and please be happy always.

Always.

Ur another year older,

somehow ur beauty has never fade :")

and I, thank you, for ;

all that u have given and will give.

all the late nights talks on how life is cruel ;p

all the lessons on how to be a great woman.

all the advices that have really mould me.

all the nags! hehe ;p

all the cares.

and all the loves that u have given to us.

also, simply for everything.

I just want u to know that ;

I Love You,

Most, of all the people in the world.

*tears*

:")

just by being our mom, u have given it all.

Loves ;

- ur forever along -

:")

p.s ; I haven't bought u a present. huhu when scholarship is in, I promise u'll get it. :)

it's d's say .xoxo.

. The Only Way Is To Stay Away .

yes people, Happy New Year 2010! :)

say goodbye to 2009! ;p

I'm waiting for yaya and loco to pick us up to go celebrate tonight at OU and The Curve. hee

Loves people!

it's d's say .xoxo.

. Celebrate Mistakes .

It's already the 30th day of December of this year, which indicates there's one more day to go before New Year! Yes people, New fucking Year! heck if I really want to be honest, I'm clearly not ready to face the new year. It just means I'm getting older! We're getting older, another one year older! ohh sigh on that people! :( durh, lame la delin! okay, since it still comes, I shall celebrate and cherish it and seriously, a new chapter of a Cikdeline will be opened and I hope this chapter brings her all of the happiness in the world. InsyaAllah :)

well, I'm actually halfway through 'kemas-ing' my room since I've been procrastinating it since the first day classes for this semester starts, which was 3 days ago. so yes, people! I've been staying in a room full with dust and dirt! HAHA sorry I'm not good with this kind of stuff! ugh~

okay, having been living for sort of 20 years of my life, I always know life is nothing but a tough shit. yes, call me ungrateful but I wasn't like you, who have every good thing life offers to you. not in my world where we really struggle to face life. but I'm very grateful tho cos despite every hard thing life throws at me, I have the greatest family ever. you know, WE STICK TOGETHER that what makes us, US :) thank you, Zainuddin's Clans. I Love You, every bits and pieces. so, I really hope this new year brings me, us, you and them every good turn. InsyaAllah. I mean, it's never hurt to wish, right? :) yes, I do pray every darkness from now on will be lighted and every questions that we keep, have an answer and most of all, every prayer that we say or wish, will be answered.

being me, I always got sooo excited of knowing what others wish for their New Year or rather what are their New Year's Resolutions. sorry guys, I can't help! ;p so, is this necessary or only a tradition we keep so that our New Year won't be plain and boring? I mean, do we rather let another year passed without having any aims and trying to fulfill the aims during the entire year right? LOL! yes, I always have some resolutions every year! HAHA pretty damn lame! yeah! this coming 2010 has them too! ;p Yeay!



Cikdeline's New Year's Resolutions;


1. To STUDY HARDER! yes! this has been the toughest study-life ever for me! I mean, with hardworks and burning the midnight oil, I still struggling my butt off to catch up with things! or maybe, I haven't burn the oil enough? LOL! so, this new year, I promise myself to study harder! and God, please! give me all the strenghts that I've always wished for. I'll read all the cases the lecturers ask me to! and I'll read whatever that's required! ohh "awak memilih course yang memerlukan awak membaca sampai mati!"-Prof. Madya Dr. Siti Zaharah. thanks Dr.! ohhh!


2. To STOP PROCRATINATE! ohhmyyGod! this has always been my most-loved habit! I procrastinate everything! from work to laundry to tutorials to ASSignments! ohhh yeah! so, I really am hoping I could change this habit of mine. yes, old habits die hard but if we try hard, I don't think that'll be too hard, right? *winks*


3. To SHOP LESS!!! yes, no comment. the 3 words pretty much sums it all! HAHA


4. To STOP BEING BITTER! weh, positive is the way laaa!! okay okay, fullstop!



5. To LOSE SOME WEIGHT! HAHA this has always been my list but until now, I fail! ohh damn! somehow, I'll try hard this time cos seriously, fat is no beautiful! ugh err err. and please delin, eat healthily





yes, those are all that I can think of and more? let just say, some things are better left unrevealed :) there are more but I wish to keep it to myself only, can I? of course I can! durh. so, there goes my evening, writing and putting my thoughts in here, gladly :")






p.s ; If you want LOVE, come to me. If you want HATRED, come to me. yes, I can give you BOTH.










it's d's say .xoxo.

. The Lovely Truth .

29122009, 2 years, 2 souls are parted. TERIMA KASIH, I had a good life :")

it's d's say .xoxo.

. T A K B O L E H T I D U R W E H ! .

seriously everything is sooo screwed up right now!
I had just have my phone repaired and now I'm waiting for my laptop to be done being repaired and I'm leaving to KL just in 2 days! ohhhmyyy! how pathetic! and to make it worse, the internet connection at home is freaking slow! and my insomnia is getting worse!!
I mean, who in world sleeps at 5 or 6 in the morning okay??
well except for me and these sisters of mine! ughh I mean, the healthy ones don't have this habit, aren't they? ohhh! greattt!
yeah, A SUCCESSFUL INSOMNIC thats what I am! haehhh! and I'm sooo sooo broke right now!
:'(
yeahhhhh %$@%#@@# fff man!



Holidays Updates;

NEXT POST! sorry *sooo not in the mood!*





it's d's say .xoxo.